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How to get teens to do chores
It seems that no matter how technologically advanced life becomes, “house work” does not seem to get less. We have washing machines and tumble dryers, but the laundry just keeps piling up. We have microwave ovens, but the dishes still need to be done, and dust just does not want to stay outside. Then there are the long working hours and travel time to and from work that reduces our time to get to those 101 chores; for which there is just not enough time!
The good news is that your teen can be involved in sharing the responsibility of cleaning the house – after all, it’s a small price to pay for all their “free” meals, medication, clothes, holidays while they live rent free. Now most of them will not like it, especially if they have not done chores before, but they need to learn that family life is about sharing responsibilities and providing support for one-another.
Getting them to realise this involves two steps:
- Step 1 is to help them understand why you need their help. For example, tell them how tired you are when you get home, how angry it makes you when you’ve cleaned something and they just dirty it up, how it makes you feel to do all the cleaning while they waste time watching television or plying on their phones, how “ignored / unloved” you feel when others don’t appreciate everything you do around the house etc. The aim is not to make them feel bad, it is to open their eyes and let them see what you do and how you feel having to do it all without getting any help. Remember, until we tell our kids what we experience they will simply accept that you are the person who will / must do everything in the house. Knowing how you feel and how much it will mean to you if they helped, should be enough to create a greater willingness in them to help.
- Step 2 involves using different “tricks” to make it easy for them to help. For example:
- A bit less. If you give your child spending money, begin to give it weekly, say on a Monday morning. Place the money of the following week in an envelope and then place it somewhere they can see it every day. Discuss and agree on the chores that need to be done and when. If a chore has not been done, take some of the money from the envelope. Do not say anything; just take out the money while they see you do it. They should learn quickly that the consequences of neglecting their duties will cost them dearly.
- Favour for Favour. Very often teens want you to do something for them such as taking them to a shopping mall, letting them sleep over at a friend or helping with homework. For such cases you can have a list of tasks or a box in which you keep pieces of paper with different chores written on them. When they need a “favour,” let them pick a task from the list or draw a piece of paper to determine which task they need to perform to get their “favour.” (Tip: Agree on when the task needs to be completed because they will not get any more “favours” from you until all outstanding tasks / chores have been completed.)
- Rotating list. Design a list whereby you rotate the tasks between the members of the family. You can use colour, stickers or pictures to beautify the list and then place it where it is visible to everybody.
- My chores. You can allow your teen to choose one chore they will readily accept to do and one they do not like doing. You and your spouse can then do the chores they really do not like. They must know that this is a conditional agreement, meaning that if they neglect the chores they, they will have to do one of the less liked chores the next week.
- Bonus incentive. You can give your teens a bit more money, a special treat (for example let them have pizza over the weekend) or extra airtime if chores were done as agreed.
- Working separately. When your kids fight a lot while doing chores, give them chores in different parts of the house or let them do the chores at different times.
- Income. As a rule, or in addition to any of the “chore management” methods above, you can also allow your teens to earn money. For each extra chore they do, you can give them money or let them build up points that can be converted into money or a favour later when they need it. This way they learn to save and plan ahead for things, like saving money for a new phone or clothes.
- Now and later chores. Some chores need to be done quickly or by a specific time while others can be done any time during the week.
For all the above methods to work you need to do two things. The one is to involve your teens in the discussion about the chores. This does not mean that they sit and listen while you talk. They must give input, come up with ideas and become part of the process through which your family decides how to deal with house chores. The second one is to get it in writing. Teens can forget easily and need to be reminded regularly, but in a non-nagging way. A list or schedule on the refrigerator or on the bathroom door will do the trick.
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Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
- Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
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AnorexiaDisorders: AttachmentDisorders: BulimiaDisorders: ODDDisorganisedDisrespectDistanceDistantDistressDiversityDiversity: CulturalDivorceDoctorDoor slammingDoormatDoubt(s)DownersDreamsDrinkingDrive (Ambition . . .)DrivingDrugsDutyDysfunctionalEarly boomersEating / food / dietEating disodersEducateEducationEmbarrassEmbarrassmentEmergency / emergenciesEmotional intelligence: EQEmotionsEmpathyEncourageEnergyEnergy drinksEnjoyEntrepreneurshipEnvyEQ: Emotional intelligenceEqualityEroticaEsteem: Self-esteemEvaluate / evaluatingEvasiveExExaggerationExampleExample Tag 2Example Tag 3ExamsExcusesExerciseExhibitionistExpectationsExperimentingExploringExtracurricular activitiesExtrovert / extroversionFact / factsFailing / failureFamilyFamily meetingsFantasies / fantasizing / . . .FatFatheringFatherlessFear / fearful / frightenedFeedbackFeelingsFetishFightingFinancesFirst aidFitting inFix / fixing / fixedFixationFlairFlexibilityFlingFlirtingFocusFood / eating / dietForeplayForgive / forgiveness / . . .Foul languageFreedomFriendlinessFriends / friendshipFrigidityFrustratedFrustrationFulfillmentFunFutureFuture planGamblingGamesGangsGender identityGender rolesGeneralGeneralizationGeneration gapGenerosityGeniusGetting alongGiftsGirlfriend(s)GirlsGive upGivingGiving inGoalsGodGood or badGood to know . . .GossipGradesGrandparentsGratitideGrip / get a gripGroup dynamicsGroup pressureGrow / growing / growthGrowing painsGrowth spurtGrowth: Atmosphere forGrudgesGuidanceGuideGuidelinesGuiltGut feelingGuysGuysGynaecologistHabit(s)HairHandleHangoverHappy / happinessHarassingHarassmentHeadachesHealthHealthy habitsHelpHelp: Alcohol / drinkingHelp: DrugsHelp: PregnancyHelp: Self-harmHelpfulHelplessHelplessness: LearnedHeroinHide / hidingHijackingHIVHobbiesHolidaysHomeworkHomosexualityHonestyHonorHope / hoping / hopefulHopelessHormonesHow to . . .HumbleHumiliate / humiliationHumourHungry / hungerHurt / HurtingHygieneHyperactiveI was never like thatI'm busyI'm right, you're wrongIdea / ideasIdentityIllnessImage: Body imageImage: Self-imageImbalanceImmaturityImpressImprovingImpulsiveIncensitiveIncestIndependenceIndividualismInfluence(s)InformationInitiativeInjusticeInnovativeInsecure / insecurityInspire / inspiration / . . .Insult(s)IntegrityIntelligenceInteractionInterest: Show interestInternetInterpersonal skillsIntimacyIntoleranceIntrospectionIntrovert / introversionIntrudersInvolveIrritateIsolation / isolatedJealous / jealousyJob lossJoyKindnessKissingKnowLabellingLate boomersLaughLaw / legalLazy / lazinessLeadLeadershipLearned helplessnessLearningLearning disabilitiesLearning styleLeavingLeaving the houseLecturingLeft / right brain orientationLeisureLenientLesbiansLetting goLie / lying / liesLifeLifestyleLike (fond of, keen on . . .)LikeableLimitationsLimitsLiquor / alcoholListeningLogic / logicalLonelinessLoserLosingLossLove / loving / lovedLove languagesLoyaltyLunchMachoMachochismMaintenanceMakeoverMakeupMaking a differenceManage / managingManipulationMannersMarijuanaMarriageMasturbationMaterialisticMatureMediaMedicationMeetings: FamilyMelancholyMemoryMenstruationMessMessing upMessyMetabolismMidlife crisisMind trapsmindsMindsetMisbehaviourMislead / misleadingMisperceptionMistakesMisunderstandingsMisusedMoaningMobile phonesModerationModernMomMoms and daughtersMoney managementMonitorMonthly periodMoodMoody / moodiness / . . .MoralityMotheringMotivate / motivationMovingMusclesMusicMythsNaggingNailsNaiveNakedNarcissicmNastyNeed(s)NegativeNeglect / neglectedNegotiate(ing)NeighborsNervousNoiseNot my teenNutritionNymphomaniaObedienceObesityObsession / obsessedObsessive compulsive disorderODD (Oppositional defiant dis.)OdorOffence / offendedOne-on-one talks / chatsOptimistic / OptimismOral sexOrganisedOutburstOvercomeOverprotectingOverreactingOverweightOverwhelmedPaedophiliaPainPanicParentingParenting style(s)Parties / partyingPassionPast: Your pastPatiencePatriotismPCsPeacePeer pressurePenetrationPenisPerceptionsPerfect / perfectionismPerformancePeriod (menstruation)PermissionPersevere / perseverancePersonalityPersonality clashesPerspectivePervertPetsPhobiasPhone(s)Physical disabilitiesPicturesPiercingPlan of actionPlanningPlastic surgeryPleasurePocket moneyPolitenessPoolPoorPopularPornographyPositivePositivenessPosturePotentialPower skillsPower strugglePraisePreachingPrecautionPregnant / pregnancyPrejudicePrepare / preparing / preparedPresentationsPressure / pressured / . . .Prevent / preventionPridePrioritizingPrivacyPrivilege / privilegesPro-activeProblems / problem solvingProcrastinationProfiling your teenProfiling yourselfProgram your teensPromPromisesProtectProtectionPubertyPull instead of pushPunishmentPuppetPurposeQualityQuestion / questionsQuietRacismRaiseRapeRead / readingReady: Are youRealities: YourRealityReason: The reasonReasoningReassuranceRebelliousnessRecognition: GiveRecover / recoveringRecycleRed flagsRefocusRegret / regrets / regrettingRehabilitationRejectRejectionRelationship / relationshipsRelationship with your teenRelaxReliable / reliability / . . .RepressReputationResentmentResistance to changeRespectResponsibilityRevealingRewardsRight / left brain orientationRight and wrongRisksRisky behaviorRole model(s)Role(s)Romance / love / datingRoomRoutinesRude / rudenessRuinRulesRumorsRun awaysSadSAD (Social anxiety dis.)SafetySafety planSaltSarcasmSavingSaying "No"ScandalsScaredSchoolScoreScream / screamingSecretsSecuritySelf-acceptanceSelf-actualizationSelf-awarenessSelf-beliefSelf-careSelf-controlSelf-defenseSelf-disciplineSelf-disclosureSelf-doubtSelf-esteemSelf-harmSelf-imageSelf-improvementSelf-mutilationSelf-respectSelf-sufficientSelfishSell / sellingSelves (identity)SensitivityServeSetbacksSexSex: DefinitionsSex: EducationSex: STD'sSextingSexualitySexualizeSexyShame / ashamedShamingShapersShave / shavingShe-malesShopliftingShow interestShynessSiblingsSilenceSinceritySingleSingle childSingle dadsSingle momsSingle parentsSizeSkillsSkills: Social skillsSkinSkinnySlamming the doorSlaveSleepSleepoversslimSlow downSlut / sluttySmart phonesSmearSmokingSnacksSnob / snobbishSocial anxietySocial anxiety disorderSocial competenceSocial mediaSocial networkingSocial responsibilitySocial skillsSocialisingSocially connectedSoftSolution / solutionsSonSpaceSpecialSpendingSpermSpiritualitySpoiledSportSportsmanshipSpur of the momentStalkingStandStandard / standardsSTD'sStealingStepmom(s)StepparentsSteroidsStimulantsStimulateStimulationStop / stoppingStranger(s)Streetwise / street-safeStrengthsStress / stressing / . . .Studying: CareerStudying: SchoolStyle(s)Succeed / success / . . .SuffocatingSugarSuicideSupplementsSupport (get, give . . .)SurviveSuspect / suspicionSwearingSymptomsTaboo(s)Take actionTake overTake things personalTalentsTalking / communicatingTameTanTantrum(s)TattoosTeachTeacher(s)TeamworkTease / teasingTeaserTechniquesTechnologyTeethTelevisionTemperamentTemptationsTensionTestTestamentThankThankful(ness)TheftTherapyThiefThinThinkingThoughtfulnessTidinessTidyTightTimeTime managementTimingTipsTiredTogetherTouchingToxic parentingTraditionsTransmit / transmittedTranssexualTransvestitesTraumaTreatingTreatmentTrendsTrichotillomaniaTricksTriggersTroubleTroubled teensTruancyTrustTruth / the truthTweensTwinsU-turnUglyUncertain / uncertaintyUnderstand / understandingUnfairUnhappyUninvolvedUniqueUniversityUnsatisfiedUntidyUse / usingUsed / misusedValentine�s dayValuesVapingVegetablesVegetarianVentingVerbally abusiveVictim / victimized / . . .Video gamesView: Teen view of worldViews / beliefsViolenceVirginityVision for your familyVisualizeVotingVoyeurismWant(s)WarnWarning signsWaterWeaknessesWeightWeirdWhat is . . .What to do . . .Why . . .WidowedWin-winWinnerWinterWisdomWise wordsWithdraw / withdrawalWonderingWorkWorkingWorry / worryingWorthYour pastYouth culture
100+ Teen articles
10 Things girls think make a guy sexy12 Characteristics of winners13 Things never to say to your girlfriend13 Ways to survive teenage life5 Types of guys to avoid6 Ways to beat shyness9 Habits of successful teens9 Tips on how to cope better9,5 Reasons not to have sexAm I attractive or beautiful?Anger controlAnti-oxidants = the super heroesApologising and saying "sorry"Are you a bully?Are your friends "bad news"Attacker identificationBe more likeableBecome a problem solver and solution seekerBinge eatingBreakfast - the can't miss mealCleaning your roomCliques - good or bad?Courage - how to boost and use itDifference between rape and date rapeDo guys like shy girls?Do you have a pause buttonDo you have good friendsDo you live to eat or eat to liveDo your parents have a safety planDo your words betray you?Does he like me or my bodyDoes size matter to girlsDoes weight affect relationshipsDoes your parents deserve a "Thank you"Fast food: Feisty or beastlyFats: The good, the bad, the uglyFighting with a friend and making upFirst Aid kit contentFlair - do you have any?Free yourself from your limiting beliefs.Fresh startGirls and emotionsGirls, naked skin and ...Great mistakesGuys and boobsHow do you know when a guy likes youHow far is too farHow much do you know about guysHow not to "embarrass" your teensHow tight is too tightHow to ask a guy outHow to ask parents without starting a fightHow to be a good friendHow to be attractiveHow to be considerateHow to get my virginity backHow to get your dad to spend more time with youHow to increase your confidenceHow to keep myself safe at a partyHow to lose your guy or freak out your dateHow to set the standard and still be coolI like someone - now whatIdeas for fun with your friendsIdeas for mom and daughtrer fun.If you messed up ...Initiative - the secret to taking charge of your lifeIs he dating materialIs it wrong to fantasize?Is your boyfriend a gentleman or not?Kissing on the first dateLove lessons each girl should rememberLove yourselfMake life easier for your momMaking a differenceMaking friends.Messing with her feelingsMy ex wants me backNever ready!Painless "arguing" with your BF / GFPatienceProbi-What?Saying "No" to peopleSaying "No" to sex made easy.Self-esteem - why it can be bad for youSensible snackingSetting rules for your guySex & prevention. How much do you know.Sex gone wrongShow your mom you love her.Silence please.Stand outSticky teen wordsStuff girls like to hear.Surviving a break-upTake control.Tell your parents what your needs areTestTest 3Test2The "can do" attitudeThe dark side of fad dietsThe enemy within - anorexiaThe L-virus attacking teensThe power of self-acceptance.The secret to happinessTips on how to cope betterTips on how to impress her parentsTricks guys use to get sexTurn setbacks into victories.Vegetarian types.Visualise your destiny.Walking through an unfamiliar place.WaterWhat - are moms allowed to have needsWhat attitude do you haveWhat do guys like when kissing a girl?What girls like in a guyWhat makes you a good kisser.What to do when disaster strikes.What's your communication styleWhat's your flavourWhy do parents make sex sound so bad?Why do you want a girlfriend?Why you need to love calciumWill I ever be loved?
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